Why not just ask for it?

credit: Choconutmeg

In my own experience, crazy things can happen, fun things, unexpected things, if I just ask for them.  And even though this has happened to me over and over again, every time it happens, it surprises me.  It's so simple.  

Just ask.

But in some ways, though, this does go against my innate or ingrained tendencies (who knows which they are at this point, so very late in the game).  I think I've only sent a dish back once in my whole life, for example, or walked out of two movies ever -- I don't really like to make a fuss.  That may surprise you, but I am perhaps overly concerned with calling undue attention to myself, with offending others, with making any kind of fuss.

I don't want to take up too much room.

So it's super-easy to talk myself out of asking for what I want for just those reasons: really, I don't want to be any trouble.  It's not some twisted passive martyrdom, honest.  Whatever, it'll be fine.  I'll work it out.

But it's silly, because so many times, when I've actually voiced what I wanted, then I've actually gotten it.  

Asking doesn't always work, but it works often enough to make it totally worthwhile.  And when it works, it's so utterly delightful that I forget all the times it didn't.

Once, while flying to Hong Kong or Singapore, back when I used to travel for business internationally a lot, a flight attendant asked me, probably just rhetorically as a consequence of her training or habit, to let her know if she could get me anything.  She was in the midst of picking up dinner trays and coffee cups, dirty napkins, empty peanut packages.  I paused, handed her my stuff and said, well, actually, what I'd really like is some chocolate right about now, and then I laughed, since that was just impossible, right.  She laughed, too, and then moved on to collect from all the other rows in the coach section of the plane.  I went back to my book, happy enough just to have laughed with her.  

Thirty minutes went by and I looked up to see her standing in the aisle next to my seat, holding a little actual plate and beaming.  I thought you might like these, she said, handing me the plate.  On which were three pretty little chocolates arranged just-so.  I nearly jumped around and clapped I was so excited.  Sure, about the chocolate, but more about her kindness.  

And that asking for something, something that at that moment I really did desire, even though it was completely far-fetched, landed me this total sweetness.  

Probably because it was chocolate and because it was hour 7 of a 13-hour flight or something, the memory of those unexpected chocolates has stayed with me, feeding me still, reminding me to ask nicely and see what happens next.  I don't always get exactly what I want when I want it, but somehow the asking sets things in motion and something comes, sometimes fast, other times slow.

A couple of days ago I received an offer from Living Social, as did thousands of other people in the SF Bay Area that morning no doubt, for beekeeping classes for $45, which represented an enormous savings over the regular price and which I, having paid far more for a series of beekeeping classes at Green Gulch (no complaints, was totally worth it), recognized as the deal it truly was.  But then I got curious, as is my way: who was this outfit offering the classes?  Who was Round Rock Honey, anyway?  So I Googled and read and got more curious about how it was that a company based in Texas was offering beekeeping classes at Candlestick?  And I decided to ask them:

The next morning I had an answer from them, asking for a meeting by phone since they're looking for assistance with their classes at Glide in SF.  And then another email yesterday afternoon inviting me to attend their class at Candlestick Saturday morning so as to see what they're about.  For free, naturally.  Super cool, right?  All I did was ask.

Now I don't know what this means or will mean, or whether it will mean or amount to anything at all.  All I know is that I was curious about a Beekeeping Academy, and got to thinking about how I am always looking for ways to share what I know, to give away what I have.  Could this phone call turn into some some kind of paid-work?  Could it become some part of the cobbled-together future I imagine that takes all these pieces of things I love -- beekeeping, gardening, writing -- and makes me a living out of them?  Maybe yes and maybe no.

I have absolutely no idea and that's the fun part.  

All I did was ask, and now I'm sitting back, not expecting anything, wondering if this is one of those times that I'll find a plate of sweetness in front of me, mine for the asking.  Or if it was enough to just ask the question, to learn about what they do, meet some other people doing this bee-work, have an interesting conversation, the end.  Either way, I so totally win!

So today I'm just saying that if you have an idea, if there's something you want, ask for it.  Sure, there's a chance you won't get it, but I really do think that you win no matter what, even if it's just the satisfaction of putting your want out there, your desire, your idea, your thought.  

Go ahead: ask! 

Comments

[Martine]

And the Karma/Lila dance continues! So, so exciting ♥