the bad shit that happens in the world is not the world

As usual, I got the news of the bad thing that happened in Colorado, a gunman opening fire at a midnight showing of Batman and killing 12 people, from social media.  Early this morning, while I was busy with other things, I saw a post go by, something like, "hope you're waking up happy today, NRA," which gave me the hint to check the regular news sources.  

And the news was not good.

It's another one of those times when people are quick to jump to the conclusion that "man, the world is so fucked up." I only say that because I've been watching that basic message stream by on my Hootsuite feed all morning.  I've also seen lots of "sending prayers and love to the families" messages, but unfortunately, a lot more of the other kind.   

Anyway, here's my problem.  OK, it's not a problem.  What I should say is Here's my reaction, but because I'm not reading it anywhere, I start to worry that there's something wrong with me, like I am the only one feeling this.  Except I know that's not true.  

It's just that collectively, we're so accustomed to voicing the "the world is so fucked up" sentiment.  It's like we've developed this expression-muscle, this reflex, over time, so that right now, given what happened, here we go again, relying on that over-developed reflex to get us through what is an incomprehensible ugly tragic occurrence that can be explained but never understood.  We read about some terrible thing that happened, then we go to our Status, sigh, and post "the world is so fucked up."

But personally, I think we over-use that expression-muscle to our own detriment.  Like maybe we're giving ourselves repetitive stress injuries.

Like maybe we need to give our "the world is so fucked up" muscle a rest already.

My situation is that I'm reading about what happened and reading the reactions as they scroll by all morning.  That's part 1.  Then, part 2: I walk into my house and notice that it smells absolutely delicious, the air between the front door and the end of the kitchen counter completely saturated with the smell of the fresh peaches that our lovely neighbors handed over the fence to us yesterday afternoon.  Standing at the counter, gazing at them, I'm standing there wrapped in this cloud of summery peachy sweetness that is unlike any other taste or smell on earth. It's so delicious that I'm standing there imagining the taste of the peach, the way it will feel in my mouth when I bite into it, the way I'll have to quickly grab a napkin or jump over to the sink because it's so juicy that it'll get everywhere.  

A peach like that, well, seriously, only sex is better.

And that's how life is, right, at least for me.  There are these moments when all my senses are on, when, eating the peach, I'm eating all the goodness of the world.  Increasingly, in this paradise of our creation that I inhabit with Joe and Mr Burns, I am almost always ingesting that goodness, feeling the way I imagine the bees feel when they're rolling in the poppy pollen, ecstatic in their work, quite literally making love to flowers.  I'm sitting here writing this and hummingbirds are clicking by and the apples are ripening and Mr Burns is asleep at my feet.

So then when I remember what happened in Colorado, it seems distant, it seems so totally aberrant in such a dramatic way, it seems completely at odds with everything I know the world, and the creatures in it, to be.

That shooting: that was totally fucked up, totally wrong.  But don't blame the world for that.  The bad shit that happens in the world is bad shit, but it's not the world.  I can't possibly dismiss the beauty I see around me, the sound of birds chirping in the background, tar it all with that same "the world is an ugly place" brush.  I can't do it and it makes me sad when others do it.  Do they really feel that way, that the world is ugly, that people are bad?  What about kittens and babies and sloths and kind neighbors and lilac and foxes and dolphins?  Ugly?

I don't believe it.  I reject it. I know the world is beautiful and it's no less beautiful even when bad shit happens.  It's not the world's fault.  My sister's dying a long awful death from cancer, but don't you think she'd rather stay in this beautiful world than go wherever she's going when her lights go out?  

Say a prayer for those who lost their lives to the madness of another human being.  Eat a peach for them, take that beauty in.  They'd do it for you given the chance, in a heartbeat.

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