juice is $o money

It's not you, Juice. It's me.There's always going to be a new Thing, and since I'm a curious creature, I'll nose around, check it out, try it on, see if it works for me. In the spirit of scientific inquiry, if you will.  

After all, which one of us doesn't always hope for the panacea, for treasure at a garage sale, for the one answer to all our many questions in a 16-oz glass bottle of juice?

So, ok, I know juice is not a new Thing. I'm a little late to the party, clearly, since I remember all the way back to 2007 being at a yoga retreat with a wise old yoga teacher (who used to lead a girl rock band in the 60s, surfer-chick, lives in Hawaii, super-cool, the real deal) who had subsisted on green drinks for a few years. It was my first exposure to that set of choices, and then bam, right, now everyone at Fashion Week is doing it.

Everyone at Fashion Week and me.

But here's the deal: I went into this with my open mind, checking it out, always with that treasure-hope. I gave it a shot, like all mortals wishing for that magical elixir, fountain of youth.

Not it.

As much as I love fruits and vegetables, and as much as I do like a liquid lunch more often than not during the week to minimize disruption and falling comatose at my desk in the afternoon, subsist on juice I cannot.

My second attempt at a three-day juice cleanse ended, from one angle, in failure. By afternoon #3, I was so thoroughly not into juice that I drank half of bottles 3 and 4, pouring the expensive remainder down the sink at work. And when I say Not Into Juice, I mean like seriously, the very idea was revolting to me.

I had a total juice OD.

On my way home to bottles 5 and 6, I decided I'd had enough and that a burrito was in order. And boy, was that a good (tasty, delicious, gratifying, satisfying) decision. 

I felt bad about it for about a second -- such a quitter! And above all: such a money-waster!  That 3-day juice cleanse was not cheap, something I was particularly aware of as I was pouring now-revolting juice down the drain, but remember: I did it for science. 

I love the juice place, I really do. I love the concept, I love how it feels in there, I love the woman I generally interact with.  It's handy to stop by there and have the juice every once in a while, sometimes for several consecutive days. But I also love toast and coffee in the morning, and actual solid, you-need-a-knife-to-cut-it food.

In short, I'm an omnivore for reals. I need to mix it up.

I wish, I wish I could be all about something, that I could be all about gluten-free or all about paleo or all about green juice. Seriously, I wish. 

But I can't. I need to mix. I need juice one day and French food the next. I need toast for breakfast and salad + fries for dinner. I need cheese.

I rationalize all this as follows: look, it's cultural. I have strong roots in food. Where I'm from, we grew up eating a wide range of foods. I choked down more ratatouille as a child than most American adults will eat in their entire lifetimes. I get vegetables, I really do. I grow 'em and eat 'em.

I like them best cooked, though, not going to lie. So next time you hear me talking about oh yeah, I think I should do a seasonal juice cleanse, stop me. Call me, email me, remind me that mixed-up moderation is way more my bag, no matter what the Thing is now. 

Please, just talk to me about toast.

XX

Comments

[Kate]

I so understand you in both topics, the wish to find "the" single solution and the need for variety. My last try food-wise was vegan. I gave up because after a few weeks all allergies rose their ugly heads at once - probably because of too much soy - but also because I NEED my large café-au-lait (i.e. espresso in a milk bath according to my beloved) in the morning (and preferably all other coffees that I drink during the day as well) to be with the cow type milk and not any soy, rice, oat or other grain concoction. The real milk came back into my coffee after exactly one week of deprivation by the end of which I forewent breakfast altogether to avoid the odd milks, then other dairy came back, then cheese and suddenly a bit of cured ham could be seen in my basket ... well. But also for music or literature or motion (dance, yoga, bike) I was into this quest of finding "the" thing, of sticking to it, out of an idea of pureness (or probably just plain OCD) ... oh well. It never works but this won't stop us searching. :-) (... btw: still in love with the little pink notebook :-) )