germination: where i live

Oh, it is SUCH an exciting time right now, the Spring outside matched by the Spring inside!

If I'd only known that quitting my job would make me so happy, would give way to so many remarkable opportunities to play and learn and earn!

Getting out from under that shadow was, in truth, the only way to set my seeds out in the sun, to germinate them in earnest.

Quitting was the best decision I've made in a long time.

OK, sure, yeah: I'm not earning at the same level as I was about a month ago, but it's still early-days. I'm still building this little business of mine, only in existence now for 2 1/2 weeks.

But it's burgeoning, and I'm watching, delightedly, as its slender sprout breaks through the soil, reaching, reaching toward the light.

Right now I'm having so much fun, and it's such a relief not to have the dread that I lived with for so many years, not to be filled with malaise on a Sunday night, mourning the coming end of the brief freedom-respite. 

Nope.

The truth is that I'm not always sure what day it is, since each day is as free as the last. Sure, I have things to do, places to go, appointments and work on my calendar. But since all of it is done from a place of freedom, is of my own choosing and with people of my own choosing, oh what a difference that makes!

Work is no longer drudgery. Work is joy.

And that's just how I like it.

Really. I'm having so much fun nurturing this new little life of mine, tending to it and to myself in a way that I'd been longing for for so long. All the care that I generally lavish on the trays of seedlings, all the longing loving looks extended toward whatever's happening on the farmlet, re-directed, for the first time, right here. On me.

Feels pretty damn great, I must say.

To anyone filled with dread on a Sunday night, I'm telling you there's a better way. QUIT it!

Yes, there's risk, but with that comes great reward. I know some people are able to build on the side, to keep their day-job and construct their dream-job at the same time. For me, that was impossible -- the soul-suck of the day-job was running me ragged, leaving me so little to work with. I couldn't grow anything at all while standing in that darkness. For me, I had to get out.

I'm just so much happier now, all the space that dread occupied filled back up with optimism. 

The seeds are sprouting, both the real ones outside -- the zucchini and the cosmos and phacelia -- and the precious ones inside. Take full advantage of spring, people.

Grow the life you want.

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