Country Mouse Monday: everything i ever wanted

Sometime this past weekend, probably while driving somewhere, this popped into my head:

Suddenly, somehow, I have everything I ever wanted.

It seemed nutty when I first thought it, but now that I've been sitting with this notion for a day or two, I know it's completely true.

I spent the weekend with friends and making things, at my house and theirs. We were collaborating on a special Mother's Day gift, a keepsake handmade paper box and my own Blissbug candle, hand salve and lip balm. Super-pretty and so fun.

Time passed in this companionable woosh. I was completely caught up in the making, which changes entirely my experience of the hours going by.

I felt I was inside time, instead of outside, watching the clock. 

And this is happening more and more.

My life has completely changed in the last two months, since I quit my 'orrible job. I am self-employed, I have clients, I am making money, albeit not as much as before, but so much more happily and it feels like enough. I am the boss of my days. I am home more, working for clients from here or on my own stuff. I am in the garden more and so deeply, joyfully aware: it's all gotten so much easier than it used to be.  

It does seem like a bit of a dream, especially since I just woke up and realized that it's happened, that I'm soaking in it.

Everything is so much easier now.

It's not like all of this has come to pass by magic. I'm not Sara Crewe waking up in her garret, her head comfy on a goosedown pillow, a fire in the grate, all by the kindness of strangers. This, all of this abundance that I see and feel around me, didn't happen by accident.

Nope.

I made this. I fed the soil for years and years to create this.

Which makes this feeling that suddenly I have everything I ever wanted -- a creative, self-directed life filled with doing and making, bees and plants and friends and hikes and yoga and time, oh blissful time -- all the more precious. All the more delicious. I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise, but it is. It stops me in my tracks, and I do feel a little like Sara Crewe, eyes wide at the tasty miracle around me.

It floors me a little: all I did was tend my garden, devotedly, for years, and set my sights. And now, here I am, savoring: everything I ever wanted. You can do this, too. You can. Do it.

XX

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Blissbug Farm products are now available in limited quantities on Etsy. Quantities are limited until this year's honey harvest, which will yield more wax with which to make more lip balm, more hand salve, more candles. Check it out!