nurses corners: nervous habits

Yesterday was a different kind of Monday for me.  I had a big work-thing that day, didn't sleep well. It was, strangely, drizzly, and I didn't spend my usual Monday morning time on walk-about in the garden.  And clearly I was nervous.

Maybe you do different stuff when you're nervous. Me? I make the bed.

Don't get me wrong: I make the bed every day. Every day. I like to leave the bed closed up, pretty, just-so, so that I return to my room at the end of the day, it's tidy and waiting.

But when I'm nervous, I take more care with the details. Like the nurses corners.

I also carefully fold and put away laundry. 

And clear the table and put away the various and sundry sweaters and shoes and books and empty coffee cups scattered after a busy weekend.

It goes better if I'm alone in the house or if, at least, no one is talking to me.

And if the classical station is streaming through my phone, the soundtrack to this mindless, calming bustle.

Clearing, putting away, making nice: it settles me.

I realized, as I was so engaged yesterday, that this is the same kind of thing I do when I'm getting ready to leave on a trip.  All the dishes are washed and put away, the trash is out, the pillows on the couch are in their right places.  All my clothes are laundered and put away, and then I can begin, in quiet, to prepare.

It's a thing I used to be a little shy about revealing, like I really was the most uptight bitch ever, as a former roommate once said about my desire for tidy shared spaces. 

But not anymore.  Now I know it for what it is: a strong need to wipe the slate clean (and wipe down the counters), so that I can see clearly what is most important, without clutter, without distraction.  

It's the way I gird for battle or for air travel.  It works for me. And super-treat: the house is tidy when I get home, a cozy nest to return to, ready for me to climb back in.

Yesterday went fine, by the way.  Flying colors. Perfect. And it might have gone the same with or without my morning shamble. But there is a part of me that credits those nurses corners, anyway.  It's the same attention to detail, the same quiet mind, that sailed me through yesterday.

For me, made bed = quiet mind. Silly, but that's how I roll.  

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