best-ever Valentine to my own wise self
Friday, February 14, 2014 at 09:39AM 
This morning I got up around 4:45, super-excited because today, Valentine’s Day, is the first day of the rest of my whole life.
Natch, you could say that about every day, but today really is a banner day for me, my first day post-job-that-I-hated, my first day of self-employment and boy, do I love my boss, ha ha ha.
I don’t have a job, which is crazy.
So later today I’m going to the movies.
Which is a little more crazy, but I think I can take a day to play and revel and steadily de-toxify from months of misery.
Directly after leaving that office for the last time yesterday, after handing in my keys and debit cards and thumb drives and files and binders to the 2.0 version of me, I got in the car and started rolling. Pharrell William’s Happy, which had been playing in a loop in my head all day, was on the radio. Perfect. I got to yoga with plenty of time to spare, and started this part of my life, my life outside captivity, on my mat.
That’s not crazy. That’s perfect.
For too long, simple things – like being able to schedule my day, take lunches, take breaks, leave in time to make it to yoga or dinner or other needs of an adult life – have been completely out-of-reach, my days completely at the mercy of others. Those others have not done me right, no ma'am, not at all.
True to form, yesterday, my last day in that particular petty hell, sucked. Then I sang loud in the car, practiced, had dinner with my sweetheart and here I am on the other side: Day 1 of New Life.
Is it crazy? It’s fucking awesome.
Awesome to be free, to be in charge of my time.
And that, for me, after years, is priceless.
I have a lot of ideas for what will come next, but I’m starting from this place, the place I’m in right now, from this joyful feeling of autonomy. I have so much to offer, but it shouldn’t require that I lose this, that I make that trade. I’m too wise for that. I’m too good for that.
Day 1 of New Life: dancing a happy dance all day long. And heading to a movie at 11am.
Not crazy.
Perfect. Awesome.
Best Valentine ever!
XX
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